My Farewell to 2020

This year has been… well, a real doozy – far (very, very far) from what any one of us could’ve predicted the start of this new decade would be. As the sun set on 2019, I picked joy as my word for 2020 (picking a word for the year ahead is a tradition I’ve cultivated for the past 8 years and has evolved to become more of my end-of-year manifestation practice, which I cherish dearly). Oblivious to what was to come, I looked 2020 in the eye and stood ready to welcome joy in both its simplest and grandest forms. I vowed to never hesitate to pursue it, to share it or to live it. And then, well, 2020 happened.

As I once again get ready to welcome a new year and with it, a new word, I keep coming back to joy. Did 2020 deliver? Did I stay true to my self-imposed mantra? While 2020 didn’t bring joy in the form that I perhaps envisioned it back on Dec. 31, 2019, if my journal entries from the past 360+ days are any indication, the year really did provide me with joy – in its tiniest, most reflective and most meaningful ways – and it did so in droves. If, as I wrote earlier this year, joy really is “gratitude all dressed up,” then I have had so much to be overjoyed by this year – yes, in spite of (and possibly, because of?) a global pandemic. The fact that in a year marked by so much loss, I’ve been able to gain so much perspective is not an irony lost on me. I feel very grateful – for health, for work, for relationships, for security, for new experiences and, most importantly, for newfound perspectives. In true Valeria fashion, I found myself thinking and writing about these a lot… so, in the spirit of bidding farewell to 2020 in a grateful, joy-filled manner, here I go…

Relationships. More than ever, I’m so thankful for my relationships and the connections that prove, time after time, that they can withstand changes and miles alike. This year, I was especially reminded of how much I value friendships that show up, in every sense of the word – behind a mask or via Zoom or in letters – and embrace the simplicity of just being present. We all needed such friends in 2020 ( here's to them!). I feel so blessed to have had them and look forward to continuing to nurture those friendships (and my own role as a friend) in the New Year.

Among those few-and-far-between relationships is my marriage, of course. Sean and I celebrated our first decade together this year, as well as our “Eight Is Great” wedding anniversary (if you know, you know). I told him a few weeks ago that this stay-home period has been one of my most favorite chapters of our relationship, and I feel closer to him (and to us, as a couple) than I ever have. He agreed, soooo we must’ve done something right in 2020. Here’s to keeping it going in ‘21.

Professional Growth – and Lots of Writing! This year marked my first full year as a solopreneur. For how much work working for myself is, I have never felt more fulfilled. The importance of balancing billable time and leisure time, and time in general has become a key learning for me this year. I’ve found myself reflecting deeply on how I spend my time, what “being busy” means, and what I value doing and being. In this self-exploration, I’ve also rediscovered how much I love my career and all that comes with it – the clients, the media outreach, the writing, the storytelling and yes, even the crises plans and often unrealistic deadlines.

2020 saw me placing client features in the likes of Forbes, Southern Living, Men’s Journal and Veranda; having my words published on Cardthartic’s greeting cards, prints and magnets; contributing my musings on food and travel to CurEat; being interviewed by Melanie Scott on her Intentional Conversations Podcast; participating in my third StoryExchange with the ViBe Creative District; and joining the incredible team at the newly launched The Fascination. The cherry on top was being featured by InStyle Magazine, proudly rocking my Phenomenal Woman sweatshirt (as photographed by my dear friend, Mike Washington) in the name of Ambitious women everywhere. To say I feel energized by the promise 2021 holds professionally would be an understatement.

Political Involvement. Since becoming a U.S. citizen in 2015, I’ve committed to remaining politically informed and to meaningfully finding my place in this democracy. Needless to say, this year granted invaluable opportunities to do so – with an urgency that instilled in me conviction and passion to stand up for issues that matter. I participated actively (and so proudly) in Pete Buttigieg’s presidential campaign, subsequently lending my support to Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. Getting to cast a vote for this country’s first female Vice President, and a biracial/bicultural woman at that, was one of 2020’s greatest honors. Amid an impeachment, unprecedented racial unrest, incomprehensible violence, a global pandemic and a contested election, I found my voice, and expressing it became my own sense of calm in the chaos. While I have much left to learn (so much), I am proud of my consciousness and my ability to sit in the discomfort. During what has felt like an extended period of excruciating civil cacophony (is that a thing? it should be a thing), I’ve also learned just how important it is to give myself and – perhaps most importantly – others grace as we do our best to listen, learn and do better. Onward.

Mindfulness. Simplify! became an undeclared mandate of 2020 – simplify your to-do list and your grocery list; simplify your schedule (turns out, that meeting could’ve been an email); simplify your newsfeed... I found myself being more mindful – soaking in the simplicity of a casual encounter or hello, of a neighborhood walk, of an aimless drive through town, of moving my body, of taking a deep breath. Turns out that when we actually clear the space to see it, there’s a vast amount of joy to be found in simplicity. Focusing on simplicity, I found myself returning more often to the little things that bring me the most joy, all of the things that most center me: to writing; to hosting small but meaningful gatherings; to being more conscious of my breath, of my body, and of what I consume both physically and digitally; to being more present both when and when I don’t have anywhere else to be; and most deliriously, to reading.

I’ve always cherished the introspective experience of burrowing myself in a book, and while my focus is always on quality over quantity when it comes to reading (and pretty much, anything), I set a goal to read 20 books in 2020. While I came 3.5 books short of that goal (I’m deep in Barack Obama’s 750+-page tome, as we speak),this year I read some of my favorite new books to date, including Daisy Jones & the Six (my favorite of the year), All Adults Here, The Choice, Untamed and – by way of Sean, who gifted it to me for Christmas – World of Wonders (B&N’s Book of the Year, fittingly). I plan on keeping my reading momentum going into 2021 and have already started my must-read list (but please do send along any of your recs!).

Perspective. Simplicity, mindfulness, small joys… needless to say, this year brought with it a great deal of perspective. I found myself thinking about this newfound perspective at the onset of the pandemic– as everything seemingly started to shut down, as travel plans were halted, as masks hid the smiles of strangers and friends alike, as toilet paper became the year’s most valuable commodity, as being healthy took on a whole new meaning – not quite knowing how long it would last. What if? I wondered. What if this was our new reality?

If 2020 has unearthed anything, it’s a series of lessons that I hope transcend the present situation and serve as reminders for many years to come. In our most vulnerable time, we have been reminded that we all crave connection; that the simple things are often the most joyful; that there’s a tremendous freedom in relinquishing control (and in admitting that we never really had it anyway); that there’s so much strength to reap from one another, if we dare admit we can’t go at it alone.

* * *

Turns out this once-unimaginable dumpster fire of a year has granted me with so much. At the end of a year that stripped away people’s livelihoods and, most heartbreaking of all, people’s loved ones, I’ve been able to emerge from it more grounded, more hopeful, more joyful and immeasurably more grateful.

It seems I was able to reap from 2020 precisely what I manifested I would in late 2019: joy – unpretentious, unabashed, undeniable joy in all of the things, but especially the small. Perhaps my own words have become my guidepost for this New Year, after all. In 2021, may my joy find itself all dressed up…

Gratitude, I have a feeling you’ll look good on me. Let’s do this thing, shall we?